LIVING AN AUTHTENTIC LIFE
By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy
You cannot find yourself until you face the truth.
--Pearl Bailey
This concept is something that has become central to how I endeavor to live. I began a spiritual quest to discover my own truth after growing up in a family where nothing was ever as it appeared. My father's alcoholism and my mother's enabling created a quagmire of inconsistencies within
our family's inner and outer worlds. Within the seeming 'dysfunction' of my earlier years I have learned that it was a gift...because it set me on a path of discovery that would not have been possible without our 'shrouded' family dynamics.
My father abused me sexually, mentally and emotionally to the point that my innate sense of self
became extremely distorted and I began looking for love, acceptance and approval from outside sources. I developed the compulsive coping patterns anorexia and bulimia...and abused myself the way my father abused me. It took years of searching and questioning before I slowly
began to understand that looking for answers and acceptance through parents, friends, authorities, organized religions, the medical model, the fashion industry, image-management..only to discover nothing outside us will ever fulfill inner needs.
My first epiphany among many other light-bulb moments came when I had starved my body
down to 89 pounds. I thought being skinny would bring all that I was yearning for...but it did not. The truth of my skewed perception was a hard thing to accept. My fantasy about thin-ness translating into inner peace turned out to by a myth...because everything else in my life remained the same. Family problems remained, lack of intimacy remained, my life was still unbalanced and off-track. It has a hard reality to accept. But I was living a lie...I'd believed to be true. What a
turning point that was!
From that milestone moment I decided to change my beliefs...and change my life. I was able to overcome two eating disorders and years of laxative abuse by deciding my life wishes
were stronger than my death wishes. From there a commitment developed
to live an authentic life and create congruency between my inner and outer worlds..and it remains today. I know from personal and professional experience that no one will achieve complete fulfillment until they accept who they are from the inside...rather than allowing
others to define them from the outside. The process to becoming 'all that we are' is achieved through conscious living, and contemplative self-awareness.
Awareness is very curative and the foundation for all change and discovery, Learning to let go is the method that eventually leads to an expanded sense of self. In the material David and I present we suggest that anyone or anything that attempts to force an ideology or dogma on another will eventually lead to an inauthentic lifestyle In the most basic terms our view of spirituality is...a
matter of self-discovery..rather than of becoming something...or someone other than you are.
Internal conflicts frequently lead to alienation with others and whatever interpretation we put on our
association with Source. How can we ever expect there to be peace in the world if we, its inhabitants lack inner peace? A lack of harmony within our inner and outer worlds...cannot help but be projected
outward to a perception of "us" versus “them?" The divisiveness within a confused sense of self fosters judgments of others. "We" are right...and "they' are wrong..our religion, political beliefs, health models are the 'right' and only way...and all else is inferior.
Comparison always leads to discontent, confusion and...of course more judgment.
To truly live an authentic life we need to learn how to release self-deception. That involves complete honest with ourselves and the rest of the world. This level of integrity requires conscientious attention, emotional maturity, self-accountability, responsibility for the cause and effect of our choices, self-knowledge, willingness to change and an ability to be discerning and practice sincere internal scrutiny. A classic Buddhist question puts it this way: "Who were you and what did you look like before your parents were born?"
Looking at ourselves without form...and as a spiritual being within a body it becomes easier to accept that...at the heart of you, me, every single person, and all the creatures great and small there is
a pure light of love. That inner radiance reflects our essential nature is the larger truth of who we are...sparks of Divinity that are given life and a chance to celebrate our uniqueness in inwardly directed and authentic ways in this journey called life.
This innate luminosity is our essential Self..and as has been said before...God/Goddess does not create junk. Accepting that opens the door for anyone to live their best life...on their own terms. Because we are, from my perspective bright sources of energy...going through our various human
experiences. Wouldn't we have a lovely world is we could celebrate who we are...and everyone else within the One song of our humanity?
David and and I continually draw from our personal experiences and what we learned as we travel along our road of life and share them in our private and group life coaching seminars. We know that the most difficult thing to do is live beyond one's means in any area of life. Once we go deep within and assess who we are...and who we are not it opens unlimited doorways to self-disovery and being true to who we are...from the inside out. Living from that place of authenticity creates openness, trust and love without the need for self-guardedness and wearing masks that protect the need for "image-management."
We (client and coach) engage and facilitate change using state-of-the-art processes and programs to create harmony in your life and business matters. Balance is fine, but you want things to work together - that's harmony - a change agent's dream come true. Harmony evolves from the successful management of natural processes in the flow of chaos to order. Metamorphosis is an organic process of change that is seen in all levels of life.
Whether at the individual, the corporate or the global level of human life, the process of change involves natural periods of chaos and order; times of conflict that underlie the movement toward transformation, and developmental shifts that may be painful as well as pleasurable. A transformational coach and facilitator is a powerful tool for you. Being who we are and living with out inner and outer worlds in balanced is the pathway to living an authentic life. and accessing the ability to do so is what we offer through Fresh Beginnings Personal Development Co. www.fresh-beginnings.com
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