18 Rules of Living by the Dalai Lama

At the turn of this century, the Dalai Lama issued the following eighteen rules for living. 12 years on, we thought that 2012 was a great time to revisit these timeless points.
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
3. Follow the three Rs: 1. Respect for self 2. Respect for others 3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

On The Wings of a Butterfly (Shauna Chanda Version)

We chose butterflies as the logo for Fresh Beginnings and Coralie's book because many envision them as a symbol of humanity's growth process and spiritual development. This video and lyrics is yet another reminder of how people relate to them.



ON THE WINGS OF A BUTTERFLY'
Written by Jimmy Scott, Sung by Shauna Chanda.
As I was walking deep in sorrow thinking about the times we shared
A butterfly danced round me - a white cloud in the evening air
And I knew that your soul was finally home and free
But it felt like a blessing, a message from you to me
Now you can fly, now you can soar
So high above this world where troubles are no more
The time has come to say goodbye
And let your soul go to heaven on the wings of a butterfly
Just a few days after, they called us to a church to pray
Loved ones gathered round you to bless and send you on your way
And as I got up to speak it suddenly caught my eye
White wings against the window, a beautiful butterfly
Now you can fly, now you can soar
So high above this world where troubles are no more
This love of ours will never die
So let your soul go to heaven on the wings of a butterfly
One day we'll meet again in heaven and we'll fly like that butterfly .
 copyright English Channel Music/Ascap 2006 www.jimmyscottsongwriter.com

 

Healthy choices for healthy living

By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy and David Malloy

Everyone wants independent choice…
whatever that may cost…
and wherever it may lead.

--Fyodor Dostroyevsky

When I began my quest for health and wholeness in the mid-eighties much of
what has gained mainstream acceptance was considered ‘fringe new age thinking” and viewed with suspicion or flatly rejected. When David and I met in 1990 I made his head spin with my concern about the free radicals and the high glucose factor in his diet. I rambled on about that and the importance of low fat, moderate carbohydrate diet and using food combining as a way to lose weight. He and others patted me on the head and admitted that it all sounded a little too weird for them at the time. Now these ideas have been accepted and utilized by many because they are endorsed by researchers. The growing emphasis on healthy living has created less polarity within formal medicine and complimentary healing systems.

This trend has already started towards more sensitive patient care with a multitude of options that were not available even twenty years ago. The emerging changes in preventative health and wellness techniques can and does compliment today’s precision diagnostic services. Inevitably, professional patronizing, and obscure terminology will give way to cooperative educational approaches, and client-orientated therapies. Future medicine like future world politics, will increasingly acknowledge choice making and empowerment of the individual.

Even before these changes are fully implemented, there is much we can all do to
optimize our health. Eating less and eating well are basic premises of preventative self- care. Avoiding the known health hazards of smoking, alcohol, fat, sugar, caffeine, salt and processed foods are another commonsense approach. Breakthroughs in health care reveal that many of the diseases and ailments being treated by symptom relief alone can be readily overcome with social and lifestyle changes.

A long, healthy life is a reasonable expectation under most conditions, and self-reliant health care involves one’s authority over their right to choose what they determine is best for them. As the paradigm of whole-person healing continues to evolve, the knowledge it brings not only liberates it unites people as well. Today personal fitness and healing practices once considered outlandish are gaining mainstream credibility—because they work. Large corporations are underwriting relaxation and stress management courses to reduce employee absenteeism. Insurance companies offer financial incentives to non-smokers and aerobic dancers. Healing in the 21st century will witness the final convergence of science and psychology, body and soul.

As science, medicine, the biology of emotion and thought, humor, health and healing attitudes are promoted as a plausible option to symptom relief, drug therapy, invasive procedures there will be more inclination to become well informed before choosing any course of treatment. New attitudes and modalities provide much hope in the form of simple, yet powerful whole-person self-care systems. They are often equally or more effective than prescriptions and are cost effective, encourage self-responsibility, do no harm, educational, fun and provide positive outcomes! So the good news is…there truly are many ways to achieve health, wholeness and abundant living for those willing to
explore options and think outside the box.

 

Caroline Myss - Freedom of humbleness, Finding your light, Mystical path...

Caroline Myss is a five-time New York Times bestselling author and internationally renowned speaker in the fields of human consciousness, spirituality and mysticism, health, energy medicine, and the science of medical intuition. Caroline established her own educational institute in 2003, CMED (Caroline Myss Education), which offers a diverse array of programs devoted to personal development and draws students from all over the world. In addition to hosting a weekly radio show on the Hay House network, Caroline maintains a rigorous international workshop and lecture schedule.


After completing her Master's degree, Caroline co-founded Stillpoint Publishing and headed the editorial department, producing an average of ten books a year in the field of human consciousness and holistic health. Simultaneously Caroline refined her skills as a medical intuitive, with the assistance of C. Norman Shealy, M.D., Ph.D., a Harvard-trained neurosurgeon.
Caroline developed the field of Energy Anatomy, a science that correlates specific emotional/psychological/physical/spiritu­al stress patterns with diseases.

Her research proved so accurate that it became the subject matter of a book co-written by Caroline and Norm: THE CREATION OF HEALTH. http://www.myss.com/
To support the juicy living tour and to watch more video interviews, visit http://www.JuicyLivingTour
Donate now to support the Juicy Living Tour at http://juicylivingtour.com/support-th...
Stay tuned on the Juicy Living Tour and where it is right now in the world from Lilou's facebook fan page at http://facebook.com/liloumacewebtv

Youthful, Healthy, Aging (playlist)

We have a number of profiles, Pinterest Boards, You Tube and other blogs on healthy, dynamic, ageless aging. This video is a trailer for a reality show about a rockin' granny illustrating a concept we believe in and live by...it is never too late to be great or create YOUR fresh beinning.

Be updated and follow all my Episodes on http://www.facebook.com/djmamyrock
Episode 1 : http://youtu.be/K2Au5BrCRK0
Episode 2 : http://youtu.be/0UWzUDFKi7g
Episode 3 : http://youtu.be/J9jZJ6wi5hs
Episode 4 : http://youtu.be/OXdJxO0aLnA
Episode 5 : Online soon :)
Mamy Rock new song 69 is OUT enjoy it here http://bit.ly/69epmamyrock

Tips for getting in shape and staying in shape consistenly over time.

One of our mottos about life is that success in any ventures is when we are able to do things consistently over time...without struggle or "efforting." It took a lifetime of on again off again fitness planning to reach the point where we're living up to that definition of success in our exercising goals. We use a few simple concepts to keep the momentum going and we are healthier, more energetic and stronger as a result. Here are some of the dynamics in our approach:

 

 

You don't go through an experience like this one without learning a few things, and my biggest lesson is that the process never ends. Getting and staying healthy means making good choices—over and over again. Here's a wrap-up of the things that have helped me most
throughout the past year:


1. Stick with the program Create a routine and stay with it, especially when you don’t feel like it. Consistency creates results.
2. Eat often Have a small meal or snack every two or three hours. It keeps your metabolism up and prevents the too-hungry feeling that leads to
overeating.
3. Shake things up Every few weeks, try a new exercise, a new sport, or a new class at the gym. You'll prevent workout boredom and enhance your results because you're
challenging new muscle groups.
4. Buddy up If you don't already have friends who enjoy working out, make an effort to meet some at the gym or in an organized fitness group, such as a running
club or kickboxing class. A group dynamic simply makes working out more
fun.
5. Go online Checking in and chatting with others via a message board who have similar goals helps keep you accountable, and gives you another avenue of support and encouragement.
6. Track your progress Weigh yourself regularly and take your measurements on a monthly basis, along with front, side, and rear photos. Having the hard numbers and
photos in front of you will reaffirm your commitment to getting fit and
healthy, and remind you of how far you've come.

The Practice of Spiritual Awakening: Tools for Conscious Living in Daily...

The presentation of spiritual knowledge from various traditions for the purpose of specific, practical application by individuals seeking authentic spiritual development leading to deeper self-knowledge, wisdom for daily living, and encounter with the transcendent. This wisdom offers a powerful blend of practices and steps necessary to experience moments of higher consciousness connecting us with the Sacred and with the experience of our True Self. Included in this material is an introduction to the spiritual system of inner Work on oneself developed by G.I. Gurdjieff and known as The Fourth Way.
Join a new online Group to study the teachings and receive personal guidance on their application in your daily life:
http://InnerWorkforSpiritualAwakening/
Books of interest on these topics on Amazon and Kindle
The Fourth Way and Esoteric Christianity: An Introduction to the Teachings of G.I.Gurdjieff
http://www.amazon.com/The-Fourth-Way-...
The Wisdom of the Fourth Way:Origins and Applications of a Perennial Teaching
http://www.amazon.com/The-Wisdom-Four...
Practical Christianity: Practicing the Spiritual Teachings of Christianity in Daily Life
http://www.amazon.com/Practical-Chris...

Transparency, Compassion, and Truth in Medical Errors: Leilani Schweitze...

The human element can give us kindness and compassion; it can also give us what we don't want— mistakes and failure. Leilani Schweitzer's son died after a series of medical mistakes. In her talk she discusses the importance and possibilities of transparency in medicine, especially after preventable errors. And how truth and compassion are essential for healing.

The Inner Dynamics System (IDS) for Personal Development

When we became life and business partners in 1990 our combined training and experience assisted us in developing the Inner Dynamics System for personal development. This post explains the model with comments and feedback about the application and results.

DYNAMIC LIVING…WITH...
THE INNER DYNAMICS SYSTEM (IDS)

The ideas I stand for are not mine.
I borrowed them from Socrates.
I swiped them from Chesterfild.
I took some from Jesus
And then I wrote the down.
If you don’t like their rules…
Whose would you use?

--Dale Carnegie

MISSION STATEMENT:

To promote health, wholeness, personal, interpersonal and spiritual well-being by providing tools that effectively assists clients in their respective life situations.

The foundation for our two companies Fresh Beginnings (FB) and Perspectives on Health Living (POHL) are based on the Inner Dynamics System (IDS).  It was created by life coaches Coralie Darsey-Malloy and David Malloy and they used this methodology in the various areas of their work since 1987.

About life coaches Coralie Darsey-Malloy and David Malloy

Coralie Darsey-Malloy and David Malloy have been in the health and wellness field since 1987 and have over thirty-five years combined experience.  Coralie and David write produce and present their ideas in individual and group settings and continually develop and expand their concepts to align with changing social needs. The Inner Dynamics System has proven track records and the life strategies offered at Fresh Beginnings continue to assist clients in achieving and maintaining their goals.
Through the Inner Dynamics System of life coaching we assess underlying causes that can be holding you back. Some of which include poor self-image, not being true to yourself, inability to establish boundaries, negative self-talk lack of emotional safety and fear-based thinking. After an initial assessment practical solutions are offered for each specific issue.
Within the Inner Dynamics System we assist you in figuring out why you're a clutter-bug…but also provide ways to downsize and eliminate the clutter. Perhaps your need involves a desire to remain healthy, strong and resilient at any stage of life. 

Maybe your goal is to be able to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty or to reduce conflict or improve communication skills. Within any area of self-change…life coaching is a safe, affordable process.
 Whatever the desired outcome we resolve problems from the ‘inside out’ and provide emotional support every step of the way.
 
What is the Inner Dynamics System? 

The Inner Dynamics System (IDS) is a personal development model that can be applied to any area of life.  By developing clarity and discernment clients using this system quickly discover how to move out of superficial habits, conditioned thinking and compulsive coping patterns and/or addictions.

The tools within the system help to develop clear intentions about larger life goals and provide ways to achieve them. Within the life coaching process of the Inner Dynamics System clients discover how core beliefs and choice making is affects outer events. As greater awareness develops the IDS provides shortcuts to overcoming patterns of inertia, indecision and/or lack of direction. The method also developments critical thinking, awareness, understanding, accountability and leads to more balanced, authentic living.

The methods used identify outdated attitudes and beliefs and transforms them into ones that are more aligned to desired life changes. Inner Dynamics is a powerful combination of timely and timeless concepts and when applied leads to changes in the relationship with self, family, work and community. It goes beyond self-help and symptomatic relief and towards lasting transformation from the inside…out.

If you are interested in improving any area of life, then the life strategies/life coaching methods of the Inner Dynamics System may be for you.   All  sessions are conducted  in a confidential, supportive environment with a variety of options at affordable rates. Clients can choose the life coaching method that is appropriate to their respective situations…by phone, in person or within a group dynamic. All sessions are presented with a balance between structure and interactive fluidity.
Why is this approach different from other methods?

What distinguishes the IDS is that it can work with whatever is presented without judgment.  This approach is designed to map directly onto the client’s inner experience.  Clients are given tools that allow them to access the genesis and history of their outer symptoms and provide solutions to their challenges from the inside out. By re-framing and adapting outmoded attitudes and beliefs transformational changes occur at a pace that creates emotional safety and are sustainable over time.

The Inner Dynamics System provides assistance in the following areas:

* Accessing inner resources
*Assertiveness
* Body Image concerns
* Conflict resolution
* Creating safe emotional boundaries
* Effective communication
* Eating disorders
* Fiscal responsibility and abundance
* Communication skills
* Increases awareness, acceptance and self-worth
* Overcoming limiting attitudes and behaviors
* Renews a passion for life
*Resolves inner/outer conflicts
* Relationships
* Self-confidence/esteem
* Setting and achieving goals 
 * Time, self and stress management
* Weight management

Comments from those who have experience with the Inner Dynamics System:

The Regional Manager of Pembina Valley Regional Centre: Winkler, MB

On behalf of the Pembina Valley Regional Center and Red River Community College I am more than pleased to be able to recommend Coralie Darsey-Malloy and David Malloy as excellent presenters in areas of Personal Management, Interpersonal Effectiveness and Personal Mastery.  The Inner Dynamics System uses a positive, common-sense approach together with an enthusiastic and animated presentation and genuine concern for clients.  The methods and philosophy includes positive reinforcement and discovery of true inner strengths and self-worth

Manager Horseman Piling Contractors, Winnipeg,  MB

Coralie Darsey-Malloy and David Malloy assisted me and business colleagues in resolving differences.  I can only speak highly of their service and the Inner Dynamics System in facilitating clients seeking solutions to business and personal problems.  They are successful without being intrusive and they are experts at getting to the core of the problem without offending

CJOB Radio talk show host, Winnipeg, MB

Your appearance on CJOB’s showed your attitude refreshing and non-judgmental.  You do not lecture—you discuss and in a most unobtrusive fashion you manage to unearth real issues and assist others in dealing with them.  I continue to spread the word that the Inner Dynamics System is workable and upbeat! 
Talk show host…CKY television, Winnipeg, MB

David and Coralie have, over a period of several years assisted me in the preparation and presentation of television programs on the subject of personal development.  Their approach has constantly been to offer common sense recommendations in an interesting and animated way.  The audience response their presentation has always been enthusiastic and positive.


What we have to do is to be
forever testing new opinions
And courting new impressions.

--Walter Pater --1873

The Inner Pilot Light as the Foundation for Whole Health

Your Inner Pilot Light as the Foundation of Whole Health

By Coralie Darsey-Malloy & David Malloy

Our work in the personal development field involves a whole person approach to healthy, dynamic living. We encourage the people we work to assess their life in a wheel with different spokes where their energy glows out from their core essence.

It is difficult to have a good quality of life when the body, mind and spirit are out of balance. When any aspect of the self is creating discomfort it interferes with the ability to fulfill one’s life purpose or to channel energy in creatively satisfying endeavors.  

But after many years of working in the health and wellness field with clients from all walks of life we have opportunities to witness how people live their lives through the choices they make. The relationship between vibrant, radiant whole health and degrees of sickness and disease is immense and complicated and there’s a spectrum of health that looks something like this:

_______________________________________________

SICK                                       WELL                                               WHOLE

There is a constant interplay between the mental, emotional, spiritual, physical and energetic fields and they come together when we tune into the Inner Pilot Light within our core essence and assess what aspects of life are and are not working and take health promoting steps to align them.  In our view the authentic self assists us in bringing the inner landscape and outer aspects of life into harmony. The Inner Pilot Light is the core essence of who we are and the foundation we either build upon or breakdown through misuse and lack of mindful choice making. Without it people eventually discover that they are not getting where they want to be because they’re attempting to create a firm foundation on on shifting sands.

For more information about the healthy, dynamic living services we provide check the Fresh Beginnings Personal Development Website at: www.fresh-beginnings.com

Creativity Video | Innovation Video | Great Minds on Creativity, Innovat...

Inspiring quotes from some of historys greatest minds set to dramatic music and coupled with classic footage. Let the likes of Thomas Edison, Frank Lloyd Wright, Albert Einstein and Franklin Delano Roosevelt inspire you, motivate you and teach you through their own words, pictures and video.
A great way to start any meeting or training session, the Great Minds will put your group in the right frame of mind to focus on Innovation and Creativity.
This DVD video contains quotes from Albert Einstein, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Marie Curie, Mark Twain, Henry Ford, Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, Neil Armstrong, Orville Wright, John F. Kennedy, Winston Churchill, Frank Lloyd Wright and Abraham Lincoln.
http://trainingabc.com/xcart/product....

Creating and Maintaining Healthy Relationships

By Coralie Darsey-Malloy and David Malloy

Together we have many years of individual and combined experience in the personal development field and between our training and experience we've learned a few things about the art of creating and maintaining healthy relationships. Being partnered in life and business creates a lot of interesting opportunities for growth even though it can be daunting at times. There have been times within our relationship where we both brought out sides of ourselves that made us question “who is this person?” Some of how we behaved and responded to each other made us feel as though we were unrecognizable and were the e anti-thesis of who we were and wanted to be. We prefer not to label relationships as "good or bad" and choose instead to view them as "healthy or unhealthy/balanced or unbalanced."

Within our own bond there have been some challenging situations and pivotal points where we could not believe who we’d become and how we were behaving. It was clear that we  were putting up with behaviors from each other that we would not accept with anyone else. Even though we were self-confident individuals before we met sometimes the triggers we set off in each created a feeling that we did not like who we were within the relationship itself. Given that we work in the self-development field we had enough knowledge and skill to stop and review things from our individual and collective perspectives.  

Within the Inner Dynamics Model for growth and transformation that we’d created we were able to apply the principle that the outer is always a mirror of the inner. During conflicted periods we would roll up our sleeves, dig deeper and assess what part of the problem is ours to own and work with…and which part was up to the other to deal with. Over the years we have learned that the best way to to maintain our mental sanity is to continue to  pursue vigorous self introspection. Whenever the outer events in our lives bring up negative mindsets and responses it is a clear message that something needs to be looked at and changed.  Emotions of anger, frustration, and insensitivity towards others can lead to self-absorbed ways of thinking and behaving and can and disrupt life. That is why we re-wrote a contract where we have agreed to deal with everything as it comes up in open, accountable and authentic ways.

 

 

We met in July 1990 and were married a year later and our shared journey continually provides new and exciting opportunities for personal growth and transformation. At one time we were of the mind that reasonably aware people should be able to remain grounded at all times through all things.  Through time we learned that is a form of ‘magical thinking” and not always possible when interacting with others who create triggers of emotion that we often do not know where they originate.  In our group and private sessions clients share their disappointments in their own behaviors and those of others who “bring out the worst in them.”

The one single rule of thumb in transforming the dynamics in all relationships is to begin by changing the one we have with ourselves. From there we all have to take responsibility for our own actions at all times. We may not be able to control the circumstances we’re in but there is always a choice in how to respond.

The gift within intimate emotional relationships is that they create a place for each of us to become more of who we truly are. Undoubtedly there are relationships that trigger old deep-seeded issues that have never been fully resolved. Others bring out aspects of the self that many do not even know were there. When we’re in relationships that make it feel that a person is ‘acting out of character’ they could be getting in touch with things that really “there” but they were not aware of until a person triggered something to say, ‘you need to look at this.’  The universe is always demanding that we grow and rather than agreeing to that reality some leave one relationship only to find they’re repeating the same dynamics over and over with different people.  Better to do the inner work and resolve the issues rather than holding onto mindsets and patterns that get in the way of healthy open relationships with others.

Our approach with clients is to encourage them in assessing whether their emotional reactions have or have not anything to do with the current person and event…or is it coming from some unhealed trauma in the past?  Once we move into the observer mode with this line of thinking we take our power back. When we perceive the person in front of us as a reminder that there are areas of life that needs some work it leads to self-accountable problem solving.

 

 

Putting oneself in a more neutral position assists in developing greater awareness about which person’s work it is to do. It is not healthy to stay with a person who continuously triggers negative reactions. By pushing the pause button and looking at the cause and effect of conflict more often than not both parties are contributing to one degree or another.   Their behavior is a perfect chance to tap you on the shoulder and not only see the unhealed areas within and assist in identifying possible red flags for future interactions.   

If the people we’re surrounded with are either unwilling or unable to work towards emotionally mature proactive problem solving then it may require walking away and working through personal issues with a counselor, therapist or other support systems. In so doing it is easier to develop the clarity needed to attract people who are also seeking healthy relationships based on mutual respect.

After many years of playing this game and being hit over the head with this lesson we finally got it.  We’ve both worked hard to co-create a marriage, sacred partnership and professional life where we strive to always bring out the best in each other. We are living proof that there are happy endings and “fresh beginnings” and that this concept is not a cliché after all.

 

 

 

 

Steps Towards Living an Authentic Life

LIVING AN AUTHTENTIC LIFE
By Coralie Raia Darsey-Malloy

You cannot find yourself until you face the truth.
--Pearl Bailey
This concept is something that has become central to how I endeavor to live. I began a spiritual quest to discover my own truth after growing up in a family where nothing was ever as it appeared. My father's alcoholism and my mother's enabling created a quagmire of inconsistencies within
our family's inner and outer worlds. Within the seeming 'dysfunction' of my earlier years I have learned that it was a gift...because it set me on a path of discovery that would not have been possible without our 'shrouded' family dynamics.

My father abused me sexually, mentally and emotionally to the point that my innate sense of self
became extremely distorted and I began looking for love, acceptance and approval from outside sources. I developed the compulsive coping patterns anorexia and bulimia...and abused myself the way my father abused me. It took years of searching and questioning before I slowly
began to understand that looking for answers and acceptance through parents, friends, authorities, organized religions, the medical model, the fashion industry, image-management..only to discover nothing outside us will ever fulfill inner needs.

My first epiphany among many other light-bulb moments came when I had starved my body
down to 89 pounds. I thought being skinny would bring all that I was yearning for...but it did not. The truth of my skewed perception was a hard thing to accept. My fantasy about thin-ness translating into inner peace turned out to by a myth...because everything else in my life remained the same. Family problems remained, lack of intimacy remained, my life was still unbalanced and off-track. It has a hard reality to accept. But I was living a lie...I'd believed to be true. What a
turning point that was!

From that milestone moment I decided to change my beliefs...and change my life. I was able to overcome two eating disorders and years of laxative abuse by deciding my life wishes
were stronger than my death wishes. From there a commitment developed
to live an authentic life and create congruency between my inner and outer worlds..and it remains today. I know from personal and professional experience that no one will achieve complete fulfillment until they accept who they are from the inside...rather than allowing
others to define them from the outside. The process to becoming 'all that we are' is achieved through conscious living, and contemplative self-awareness.

Awareness is very curative and the foundation for all change and discovery, Learning to let go is the method that eventually leads to an expanded sense of self. In the material David and I present we suggest that anyone or anything that attempts to force an ideology or dogma on another will eventually lead to an inauthentic lifestyle In the most basic terms our view of spirituality is...a
matter of self-discovery..rather than of becoming something...or someone other than you are.
Internal conflicts frequently lead to alienation with others and whatever interpretation we put on our
association with Source. How can we ever expect there to be peace in the world if we, its inhabitants lack inner peace? A lack of harmony within our inner and outer worlds...cannot help but be projected
outward to a perception of "us" versus “them?" The divisiveness within a confused sense of self fosters judgments of others. "We" are right...and "they' are wrong..our religion, political beliefs, health models are the 'right' and only way...and all else is inferior.

Comparison always leads to discontent, confusion and...of course more judgment.
To truly live an authentic life we need to learn how to release self-deception. That involves complete honest with ourselves and the rest of the world. This level of integrity requires conscientious attention, emotional maturity, self-accountability, responsibility for the cause and effect of our choices, self-knowledge, willingness to change and an ability to be discerning and practice sincere internal scrutiny. A classic Buddhist question puts it this way: "Who were you and what did you look like before your parents were born?"

Looking at ourselves without form...and as a spiritual being within a body it becomes easier to accept that...at the heart of you, me, every single person, and all the creatures great and small there is
a pure light of love. That inner radiance reflects our essential nature is the larger truth of who we are...sparks of Divinity that are given life and a chance to celebrate our uniqueness in inwardly directed and authentic ways in this journey called life.

This innate luminosity is our essential Self..and as has been said before...God/Goddess does not create junk. Accepting that opens the door for anyone to live their best life...on their own terms. Because we are, from my perspective bright sources of energy...going through our various human
experiences. Wouldn't we have a lovely world is we could celebrate who we are...and everyone else within the One song of our humanity?

David and and I continually draw from our personal experiences and what we learned as we travel along our road of life and share them in our private and group life coaching seminars. We know that the most difficult thing to do is live beyond one's means in any area of life. Once we go deep within and assess who we are...and who we are not it opens unlimited doorways to self-disovery and being true to who we are...from the inside out. Living from that place of authenticity creates openness, trust and love without the need for self-guardedness and wearing masks that protect the need for "image-management."

We (client and coach) engage and facilitate change using state-of-the-art processes and programs to create harmony in your life and business matters. Balance is fine, but you want things to work together - that's harmony - a change agent's dream come true. Harmony evolves from the successful management of natural processes in the flow of chaos to order. Metamorphosis is an organic process of change that is seen in all levels of life.

Whether at the individual, the corporate or the global level of human life, the process of change involves natural periods of chaos and order; times of conflict that underlie the movement toward transformation, and developmental shifts that may be painful as well as pleasurable. A transformational coach and facilitator is a powerful tool for you. Being who we are and living with out inner and outer worlds in balanced is the pathway to living an authentic life. and accessing the ability to do so is what we offer through Fresh Beginnings Personal Development Co. www.fresh-beginnings.com

The Science of Achievement (Personal Development Plan)

Personal Development Plan Template
Click this link to get our book for FREE (limited time):
http://www.outlieracademy.com/a/milli...
personal development plan template
In this Outlier Academy video, you will learn useful information about how to develop yourself so you can achieve your goals in life. You will learn how to focus and have a better perception of life. This is a free personal development plan template video with very valuable information, which would likely be sold to you by other people.
Outlier Academy is aimed to not only improve our company but also other people surrounding us. We want to make a change, one person at a time. This is why we are offering free informational videos with quality information. Our website also has a free e-book that you might want to check out.
Don't forget to like and subscribe for more videos from Outlier Academy!
personal development plan template
Be sure to check out the link below to learn more:
http://www.outlieracademy.com/a/milli...
personal development plan template

How my shadowy past opened the door to Fresh Beginnings

This article was written to present the connection to my shadowy past and the struggles I worked through when I was caught up in the compulsive coping patterns of disordered eating. The transformational changes I went through on my healing journey opened the door to the company David and I co-founded and co-direct.

THE ANATOMY OF AN EATING DISORDER

By Coralie Darsey-Malloy

 I sit and listen attentively to each woman as they openly bear their souls. Within this sharing circle of emotional safety one by one their stories are told.  As they speak I hear how some are working through their own process while others have come to find answers for loved ones. Within my quiet observer mode I glance around the room. Some mask their pain with a vacant stare while others speak in words strangled with emotion.  Sitting silently and bearing witness to their individual and collective journeys my heart goes out to them with deep empathy… because I was walked their path and am fully aware of how difficult it is to believe there is  any other way to live.

Their journey was once my journey…but no more. When it came time for me to speak I began my testimony of hope.  “I am here to honor and support where you are—because I once walked this path and fully understand the ties that bind you to it. However, after thirty years of struggle and strife I finally found find another way to live. Yes, whether you name it addition or a compulsive coping pattern I been free from the clutches of anorexia, bulimia, compulsive over-eating and body-image issues for over seventeen years.  I am not a recovering anything.but I am healed, whole, well and in better health now than I ever was in my youth…and that is my offering of hope and encouragement to you. 

 

There is dead silence as I scan the room it is clear that the energy has changed and things feel slightly chilly. As I scan the room my training as a   life coach and group leader quickly reveals a tangible, inaudible ‘clunk’ as minds within the room suddenly close simultaneously. It is clear that there is no receptivity to my viewpoint and rather than push beyond the group’s comfort I choose to leave.  The next day I called the facilitator of the group and discussed my observations.  Her feedback confirmed my perceptions as she said; “Yes Coralie, even though the group appreciates where you are there is a lot of denial, anger and feelings of victimization within this group.   At this point they only want to vent they feel and are not willing to change right now. Perhaps they will be open to your approach in the future…but not now. Thank you for your time…good-bye for now. Click!  

 

As I hang up the phone I take a deep breath as my mind wanders through time time-lines of my life to where it all began to unravel for me.  Around the age of eighteen I decided to take a modeling course and see if I could make it in the fashion industry.  The women who headed up the agency never bothered to tell me that my five foot two and a half inch height would never allow me to go very far.  She willingly took money for the course and I blindly followed her lead.  As I struggled to compensate for the obvious disadvantages of my ‘vertically challenged height’ I decided to become skinnier.  Couple that dynamic with a home life with a controlling, abusive, alcoholic father and a passive enabling mother I began to develop a sense of self that was outwardly directed.  That shift in focus   was the beginning of my downfall. 

 

As I continue wandering around in the musings of my mind I vividly remember how I began starving myself so I could create  the body I had in my mind.   This was many years ago … long before there was a clinical name for binging, purging, laxative abuse and creative self-starvation techniques.  The process was effective in my mind because it allowed me to become a skinny 89 pounds.  Initially the cycle pattern had started out with restrictive calorie counting, frenetic bouts of intense exercising that were difficult to sustain.  Each time I ‘failed’ a binge followed and then the whole cycle began again.   . Weight gains lowered self-esteem and created an internal need to binge.  Food was used to   compensate for growing feelings of inadequacy or block out thoughts and emotions that were too uncomfortable to handle.  Little did I realize at that level of awareness that my fixation on food, weight and body image were compulsive coping mechanism.  The fixated thinking had become a way of denying what I believed to be insurmountable issues in my personal and family life.  That awareness would only come many years later.    

 

Then somewhere in my early twenties my father in his usual unthinking fashion said something that re-routed my life again.   In one of my venting outbursts I declared that I had to find a way to lose more weight so I could   ‘measure up’ to the fashion and entertainment industry’s stereotypes for the ‘perfect body.   In what became a milestone moment my father said in a calm voice, “Well, why don’t you do what many jockeys, ballerinas and others with a high profile do to keep their weight low?”

His serious tone caught my attention interest and I felt he might just have a solution and I quickly said,    “What do they do?” 

My father could see he had me—and he played the moment to his advantage by taking a s  drink from his glass of Scotch and a slow puff on his cigarette before answering.  “It is any easy fix—eat whatever you want, then stick your fingers down your throat and throw it up.  Some also use laxatives—between those two things—you can be whatever weight you want and keep it.  Simple huh?” 

 

The impact of what he had just said was not lost to either my mother or me.   I vividly recall the look of horror on her face.  It was the exact moment that the light bulb went on for me.  Needless to say there was nothing my mother could say or do to stop me.  Little did I know then that my father’s statement would re-route my life and create a quagmire of confusion that would take years to emerge from.    As I continue to wander down memory lane I am caught in a full circle moment of total recall and I vividly remember my first binge/purge experience. 

 

“Ahh—alone at last.    My stomach is bulging as I wander towards the bathroom.  I cannot help thinking about the volume of food just consumed.  It was the biggest binge of my life—but knowing that I was going to be able to ‘get rid of it’ created a blissed out state while I was indulging.  Throughout the ‘stuffing’ I comforted myself with the reality that I was about to embark on my first episode in throwing up.  No one could stop me now—I was on a whole new path of liberation—or so I thought then. 

 

As I stand in front of the toilet the stark while porcelain bowl invites me to begin a ritual of association that will last far longer than I ever wanted it to.  At this juncture I foolishly believe I would be able to control my association with it—too bad I didn’t know then what hard lessons I would have to learn as a result of what I did next.  Before beginning I paused and wondered how to do it.  For one brief moment I felt like an initiate to some order—and this was the act that would allow me to gain entry to some unseen power.   

 

Hmm—I wonder how many fingers I should use?   I decide to hook my thumb and little finger together and try three.  Ugh, that hurt, maybe I should try two.  As I shove them down my throat initially nothing happens, I try again—further down this time—there I’m getting a gag response—keep it up—the energy within my intention to master this art of body and weight control drives me to keep going.  As I push harder and deeper I gag more and I keep it up, pushing, probing fingers deeper until I finally feel  my insides begin to respond.  As the inner upheaval begins to move I am full of anticipation as I sense the massive amount of food I’d consumed is rising upwards.  Excitement begins to build as I feel lift-off occurring.

 

The food rushes up in a volcanic eruption.  Once I had the first experience in motion I kept it up I did it once, twice, three—four—until I lost count and could finally feel my stomach had released all its booty.  As I flushed the toilet for a final time and closed the lid I looked at my formerly bulging abdomen and saw how flat it had become and I absolutely delighted.  I stood in mute silence admiring my handiwork.   Then within the   aftermath I feel my knees slightly buckling and I sit on the toilet and   try to process what had just happened. 

 

In retrospect it was one of the last times I paid any real attention to my body’s responses.  From that point on I become increasingly dissociated from anything it felt or needed.  But initially symptoms were too obvious to ignore.  I could not help but notice what a physically demanding ritual the self-induced vomiting actually was.  I felt weak, my neck and back were stiff and sore from bending over.  Residues of bitter tasting bile lingered in my mouth and my eyes felt as though they were stretched and bulging behind their sockets.  Coupled with all of that was an incredible thirst and it was clear to me that I was severely dehydrated.  But I held on to the fact that I had managed to do it and in the bizarre fashion of anyone with an eating disorder I felt kind of good about my achievement. 

 

The void within the moments afterwards was eventually filled with something else.  Even though I felt physically weak—something bigger and not clearly understood had occurred within the unusual and rite of passage I had just undertaken.    I noticed a sense of relief—as if on some emotional level I had a moment of release from things I could not clearly define.  That gave me a profound sense of empowerment and I liked it.    Although it was not fully comprehended to me at that time I came to see that something within that first experience put a new set of beliefs in motion.  In retrospect this first act created a false sense of security about controlling my destiny and achieving every weight loss dream of skinniness I had been harboring within.

As I embellished the moment with romanticized ideas that this ritual would allow me to create the  perfect body size and shape—and with that would come all the love, acceptance and appreciation I could not find anywhere else.  As my mind ran along those line it eclipsed any sense of how bizarre the path I was embarking on really was.  Logic and reason were replaced with an unrealistic sense that everything I ever wanted or desired was now within my reach.  I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted in whatever amounts I wanted and never have to look back.  On top of that I could show the world that I could achieve something many others could not—a lean, strong, thin body—something everyone wanted and now I could finally have. 

 

As I continued along this deluded path in an ‘ignorance is bliss’ approach.  .  Being able to binge and throw up worked for awhile.  But what is now called bulimia eventually began to upset my metabolism and eventually my digestive and eliminative functions were severely affected.  The more I did it the less energy I had and it was difficult to keep up my happy face about being thin at all costs.   When the process began to affect my ability to eliminate I added my father’s second suggestion to the list and began using laxatives to move what foot I could not ‘get rid of’ by throwing up.  Over the years of abuse my body became soft, bloated and what I termed ‘gooshy.”

 

Then in  the midst of feeling untoned, flabby and increasingly unhealthy I decided to go in a different direction and I began to starve myself, exercise for hours and abuse laxatives in growing amounts.  At one point I was taking up to sixty laxatives a day to lose weight—but in my deep states of denial and delusion I told myself it was safe because I only used herbal laxatives.  During anorexic phases of the eating disorder starving myself, throwing up, exercising excessively and abusing laxatives worked quite well.  At my lowest point I managed to starve myself down to 89 pounds. 

I was proud of how I consistently surpassed five pound increments until I was less than 90 pounds.  At that point I was hospitalized and went through five years in and out of psychiatric wards.  I was subjected to massive amounts of mood-altering drugs.  When didn’t work I was given over 120 ECT treatments before they finally figured out none of it was working.  No one within the medical system ever considered addressing family life or what might be the root cause of my debilitating health and personal problems.  Through that whole time no one ever addressed the problems I was having at home and with my parents.  I consistently felt that I was the problem—and that added to a growing loss of self-worth and any sense of self.  There were times where I thought it would be better to die and I often wished I could.  The depressing feelings of hopelessness and helplessness were so bad at times I considered taking my own life so the pain could end. 

 

By the time I reached the ten year mark of struggle I was 28.  None of what the medical model had to offer was doing anything to change my behavior—or my life.  So I made the decision to get out of the system and find another way.    As I look back over the anatomy of my eating disorder one of the most surreal aspects of it was through the whole thirty year process I was still functioning on many levels.  The five year stints in the psychiatric wards were the most challenging and least productive times of my life.  But after getting out of that kind of constrictive ‘care’ I made a decision to do something—anything different. 

 

At age twenty-eight I married my childhood sweetheart and began to journal and pray for direction and a way to heal my life.  It was clear that if I did not find a way through the confusing maze of my disordered life and disordered eating I was going to die.  My throat had started to bleed when I stuck my fingers down my throat.  My intestines and stomach ached and I was increasingly sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.  I have come to accept that  the challenges I was having in trying to find answers contributed to the break-up of my first marriage—but there was nothing I could do—except keep on keeping on until I found another way to cope. 

My lifestyle was a horrendous series of uphill and downhill slides into a world I feared I might never be able to escape.  It was a lonely, isolating world at times because I could never allow anyone to get too close, lest they discover my terrible truth.  The irony of it all is that I still had an outer semblance of a life.  I worked, socialized, dated and even began writing, producing a series of talk shows on community access television in Winnipeg.  So to all appearance I had my act together.  The shame of my secret ritualistic life of self-destruction continued as I lived a life of ‘quiet, unspoken desperation.’

 

It took another twenty years after that to finally have enough of a spiritual epiphany to fully comprehend that my obsession with thinness, fixated thinking about image-management and trying to define myself from the outside were not the real issues.  Then in an amazing moment of clarity some of my prayers were answered.   For the first time I could see there was something very wrong with my whole lifestyle and my sense of self within it and once I ‘got it’ things began to change.  When Karen Carpenter died I was amazed to learn that what I had been doing since my late teens had finally had a name and a diagnosis.  Well imagine that.  Too bad it hadn’t been addressed when I was being tortured by the medical model all those years ago. 

 

Up to that point a part of me did not really believe that what I was doing could actually kill me.   I had been doing it for so long never in the thirty year span had any doctor ever said that there could be some long term health problems with what I was doing.  But the media hype around her death mentioned that her heart gave out and that was a big newsflash for me.  As unfortunate as it was to hear about Karen’s death added another dimension to the clarity I was developing from within.  It forced me to sit down and ask myself some really tough questions.   As I sat quietly I could not help but wonder whether I had an unspoken, formerly unacknowledged death with and that maybe the eating disorders were how I was unconsciously planning to fulfill it.  That hard core question about whether my death wishes were stronger than my life wishes changed the course of my life path.  I knew deep within my being that I did not want to die and that I had better smarten up or the choice might not be mine to make. 

 

From that point on the course of my life path began to change in strange and mysterious ways.  Once I made a decision to live I embarked on a quest to heal my life and stop allowing feeling of victim hood to shape the events in my life.  As I kept my focus on regaining health, balance I sought out a series of therapists and alternative health practitioners in a whole-person approach to my healing.  Therapy helped me to stop playing the blame game with my parents and put energy into taking responsibility for the choices I was making within whatever circumstance I was in.  Had I had a hard life in some ways? Most definitely.  Had my family of origin contributed to my personal and health problems?    Undeniably.   But through time I had to accept that I could either live in the past with all the hurt, regret, blame and shame or I could choose to forgive all of it and move on.  And that was what I did and I continue to do that today.   Now admittedly the changes didn’t happen overnight.  It took a lot of self-ownership, therapy, changing my diet and my mindset to help me become healthy rather than skinny. 

The more I focused on building a more positive sense of self and striving to be healthy and whole the less time I had to worry about my outer appearance.  I was beginning to live life in the reverse of how I once did—from the inside out.  As I learned how to manage my life, handle stress and focus on goal setting and goal-getting my world and everything in it changed for the better.   As I learned how like and love myself and accept my shortcomings as part of being human I also was able to establish safe boundaries with others.  As I progressed along my path towards wholeness and happiness I recovered repressed memories of sexual abuse and it became clear that I had been treating myself the way I had been treated.  I had been abused and felt that was what I deserved and I found a way to abuse myself—and what was what the eating disorders represented for me.  It is so obvious now—all change begins with awareness and once I was aware of why I did what I did I was able to change the pattern forever and never go back. 

 

I made it through and life today is sweeter, richer, healthier and more abundant than it ever was in what many call the prime years of their life.  I now thank God that when I had considered ending my life that it never happened.  If I had died or taken my own life I would be missing all the good that I now enjoy.  That is part of why I am so committed to sharing what I have learned.  It has been said that anyone who has met the challenge and overcome it has a moral duty to chare it.  And so that is what I do.    

As my journey through the past brings me back into present time I realize why I felt a need to go sit in on that support group.  They may not be ready to hear what I have to say but I know there are many out there who are.  As I was able to transform I began developing and presenting workshops about a system of weight management that works from the inside out.  The Body Dynamics System I developed with my life and business partner David Malloy has a proven track record that assists people change their lives by changing and re-framing their attitudes and behaviors.  I've  Been There is the name of my memoir and it chronicles how anyone can change their life for the better when they are ready and there is someone ready to offer care, understanding and some guidance about how to do it. 

 

 

 

That what our company the company David and I run together is appropriately named Fresh Beginnings because it is never too early or too late to get a start!   

Introductions: Coralie Darsey-Malloy and David Malloy Co-Directors of Fresh Beginnings Personal Develoment Co.

Let us introduce ourselves. We are Coralie Darsey-Malloy and David Malloy and are married partners in life and business and have been working as counselors, public speakers and seminar leaders in the health and wellness field since 1990. We co-founded and co-direct a personal development company called Fresh Beginning and chose a butterfly as the logo for our company because they represent spiritual development and transformational change from the inside out. 
Through our combined training we developed the Inner Dynamics System (IDS) for personal development. 

This model assists clients in resolving challenges by developing greater self-awareness, cognitive restructuring, and behavior modification.  The tools we provide help others to move forward with preparation, focused intent, precision and confidence.  Whether we are working in private sessions or within a group dynamic our goal is to assist clients  evaluate what is and is not working in life and assisting them in becoming more conscious and deliberate in choice making and intentions.

Fresh Beginnings services provide:

* Support systems.
 * Provide direction in discovering inner and outer resources
* Become trusted allies and emotional safety during any growth process
* Provide clarity with goal-setting-goal-getting objectives 
* Creating realistic actions plans
* Develop self-awareness with conscious living 
*Work with responsible living by applying “choice and consequence”  Instead of getting frustrated and feeling like you’re always going “one step forward, two steps back” we work together to create the vision that is realistic and attainable. 
Addressing concerns many clients have:
* Clarity/Focus. I have so many ideas that I can’t narrow it down to only one! Help me sift down to what is important, relevant and practical and eliminate the rest!
* Strategy. “I only have so much time in the day. I need to know what to do, right now!”
* Restore Confidence. “I’m feeling beaten down and exhausted and simply don’t know how to get some energy back.”
* Accountability. “I know what needs to be done, but keep procrastinating. I need someone to keep me focused and on task.”
* A New Approach. “I can’t believe I never thought about it that way!”
One of the most common statements clients make is “I need focus!” Distractions are everywhere. And when you’re an intelligent, educated person engaged in the world around you, ideas are abundant and knowing what to do with them can be overwhelming at times.

As life counselors we combine our personal and professional experiences and assist clients in developing clear intentions in combination with proactive problem solving and action plans. We assist all our clients in deciding what they really want and provide realistic strategies that are required to achieve them. We have a lot of skills in our toolbox that have a proven track record.  In our discussions with clients they admit to reading books and going to seminars to find the answers they are seeking. Most of the times they find they are inspired for a little while and then go right back to the familiar ways of doing things. usual way of doing things.  Working together in private sessions with either Coralie or David individually or together provides the support needed to achieve desired outcomes.

How can Fresh Beginnings services assist with your life and career goals?

Discover how to simplify life, re-gain balance and energy and move forward in new directions.
Clarify intention and focus, think in a new way, increase confidence and know what to l do next.
Create new strategies and skills.
Create an environment that is supportive and emotionally safe. 
Reveal the energy drains in life and develop new habits to prevent it.
Help you write a dynamite resume or create a business plan for your career path.
Identify and capitalize on unique leadership skills.
Learn communication new communication skills.
Create safe boundaries through assertiveness. .
Available to be an adviser and sounding board as clients chart new territory

We are available for private phone sessions in North America or anywhere in the world through Skype.  Our Check out website at www.fresh-beginnings.com for a toll free number for appointments and call-backs.

We will have a no-pressure, get acquainted phone call so prospective clients have a feel for our coaching style.  Check out our website for further information about our life coaching services, seminars or public speaking engagements.

The Fresh Beginnings the link for the Fresh Beginnings website is: http:// www.fresh-beginnings.com Our company Email is info@fresh-beginnings.com.

We are also distributors for Young Living Essential Oils and are committed to sharing the powerfully beneficial properties of these pure grade essential oils. We are looking to add people to our Young Living Team and if you are interested in more information call or email us at the Young Living email: youngliving99@gmail.com, check out our Fresh Scents With Young Living Oils Blog: http://whywelovebeingyounglivingdistributors.blogspot.com/

The Fresh Scents You Tube Link is: http://www.youtube.com/user/FRESHSCENTSWITHYL?blend=1&ob=video-mustangbase


Our YouTube channel is: http://www.youtube.com/user/FBVentures

Twitter: http://twitter.com/Fresh_Begininng

FACE BOOK:

http://www.facebook.com/FreshBeginnings
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fresh-Beginnings-Forum/116949948329745
Coralie’s Profile:
http://www.facebook.com/coralie.darseymalloy

David’s Profile:
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001014677826

TWITTER:

Fresh Beginnings:
http://twitter.com/Fresh_Begininng

LINKED IN FOR FRESH BEGINNINGS;
http://www.linkedin.com/myprofile?trk=hb_tab_pro

YOUTUBE FOR FRESH BEGINNINGS;

http://www.youtube.com/user/FBVentures?feature=mhum
OUR OTHER BLOG LINKS:

Coralie's Blog link ISs: http://coralieraiadarsey-malloy.blogspot.com/

Exploring Common Ground, Respecting Differences and Embracing Diversity and Oneness:
http://exploring-neutral.blogspot.com/

The Blog for a book Coralie wrote about her healing/spiritual journey is:

http://ibtbook.blogspot.com/search/label/%27ve%20Been%20There